Hello world, my name is Fadwa and I tend to change lives :) God never leaves my side. Oh and I write music/do random covers. Smile, today is a new day.
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I have grown quite a bit here in Nashville. I’ve learned so much more about myself than I ever did in Houston and I am thankful for how my heart has changed. That being said, I’ve seen so much more hypocrisy here than I ever did back in Texas. Constantly being around people who are “Christian” but are all worried about pleasing the world is hard. Trying to unconditionally love people who’s hearts do not seem to have pure intentions is difficult. Continuously being judged for being sassy or for speaking my mind is tiring. If my opinion doesn’t sit well with a “stronger Christian” then I am the one who needs the Lord. If I get too upset or am too sassy I need to choose joy. If I am too vulgar or honest then something must be wrong with me.
Let me tell you something- I am human and I am allowed to feel human emotions. Being Christian does not mean I feel no pain and have to have a smile about every aspect of my life constantly. You are not a stronger Christian because you call me out every two seconds. You are not more qualified to judge my life because you grew up with the perfect american family who went to church every Sunday. You are not a better Christian because you can recite bible verses like your life depends on it. None of us should ever see ourselves as “better” Christians. We all sin differently. I am not saying that I am perfect, but I am saying that a lot of hearts need praying for. I have encountered too many people who have forgotten to love for the sake of loving and that needs to change.
I was raised to be honest. This is me being honest and I’m sure I’ll be judged for this as well.
Dear friends please take the time to stop and think about where your heart is when you interact with others. I’ve encountered so much negative energy because people don’t stop to think before they speak. This year has taught me so much more about forgiveness than I have ever learned, but at the same time I am not perfect and holding in hate isn’t fun. I am fed up with selfish and hurtful behavior all because people feel “entitled” to their opinion and entitled to behave a certain way. So please, before you decide to judge someone or give someone an attitude for the heck of it consider the other person. Consider their feelings and ask yourself if you are spreading love or just pointless negativity.
I hate to think that a little part of me is still broken after all of this time. I deserved better.
We all have those days that no matter how hard you try to be happy everyone pisses you off and choosing joy seems impossible. I had one of those kinds of mornings today. Needless to say I am definitely over it by now. I just wanted to share that it is okay to not be perky and happy 24/7! I am all for advocating happy feelings and looking on the bright side but I also completely understand that sometimes having someone tell you to cheer up doesn’t help at all! We are not supposed to pretend life is perfect all of the time.
Just remember that you will be okay eventually and if today isn’t your day that’s okay! Tomorrow isn’t promised but it does have the possibility of being a new beginning.
Before this is read take note that I do believe in accountability and having people in your life that will call you out when necessary. I think where people get carried away is with the amount of judgement they begin to express.
Friends who constantly want to point out your flaws or judge you on even the tiniest of things are not your friends at all. Even if they think they are acting in a “christian” way, they aren’t. I understand trying to point your friends in the right direction, but making someone feel like crap for having a different opinion than you and constantly mentioning that their heart isn’t in the right place really breaks a person down. How are we supposed to share love when all we can do is point out someone else’s flaws? It is not our place to judge someone and believe that we are always correct in our opinions. We are to love and kindly call out a friend when necessary but not consistently to where you make someone feel inferior to you.
No one should ever make you feel inferior. No one is better than you.
So before you want to point fingers at every “sin” you see, make sure your heart isn’t just rebuking someone for the heck of it or because you need to prove a point of just how great of a “christian” you are. That is how you push someone away. So check your heart before you start trying to fix someone else’s.
My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you.
I have been repeating this to myself all day. I hope it helps someone else as much as it is helping me. Sometimes my current circumstances make me feel worthless but these words remind me to love myself.
I would be lying if I said that the past few days have been great, in fact I have been an emotional roller coster with no explanation as to what triggered this side of me. Being an optimistic person, I hate to think that life gets to me but what I am learning is that it is okay to break down sometimes. In fact I think we need it. I keep so many emotions bottled up that when I finally let them catch up to me I break down and then I break down about breaking down and the world seems to end for a night. If I let myself feel anything other than blessed or happy I freak out and hide that emotion away until I blow up. I need to learn that it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to be unhappy as long as I don’t let those emotions control my life. I can acknowledge that life is stressing me out and then remember that I don’t always have to be “strong”.
I guess what I am trying to tell you guys is that being vulnerable and emotional isn’t a bad thing. It just means you are human. Don’t hold it all in until you explode, instead have a few minutes or hours where you let yourself feel and then pick yourself back up. Find someone to talk to or write down what you feel so that you can sift through your thoughts. Don’t let it get to the point where you feel completely hopeless and defeated because that can really mess you up.
Anyways today has been a lot better and I hope you guys have a beautiful week ahead of you.
Feeling blessed even though all I’ve done is go to class, work, and do homework. BUT at least I am able to do all of those activities. My family is healthy, I am healthy, my friends are alive and well. Life is beautiful and I hope you find a blessing in your day.
I read somewhere once that Fall weather makes everyone feel invincible. I don’t know why but that statement speaks so much truth. I currently feel like I can take on the world even though what I really need to be doing is conquering the pile of homework to my right. Instead I am staring at my homework and smiling because my window is open and chill air is rushing over me! I know that personally Fall weather and crisp air make me forget about anything negative. Fall makes life is a little brighter, days hold a tiny bit more hope, and smiles are anything but scarce. It’s like the world could do no wrong because it’s decision to allow sweater weather makes up for everything!
Anyways I hope you feel the same joy I do when Fall is here. Happy Monday!
Sometimes I wonder if God looks down on his beloved daughters and thinks, “This is not what I intend for you. Who have you listened to? Who told you beauty looks a certain way? I told you that your beauty comes from me.”
The above statement is not one of my own but I can relate to it. We call can. Just a thought for the night.
I am far from perfect. Today is one of those days where all of my insecurities are dancing around in my head. But instead of letting them destroy me I have to remind myself that God makes beautiful things and I am loved by him. Feeling worthless is just an illusion that the world drags me into but the reality is that I matter. YOU MATTER.
So if you feel worthless, forgotten, alone or whatever just pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are loved. You are important. Because you are. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Don’t let your circumstances define you.
Happy Tuesday world.
Let me make you smile. Let me give you encouragement and laughter. Let me give you hope. Let me give you hugs and go on coffee dates. Let me pray for you.
Let me be your friend.
Yes I can share love with people even if they aren’t my immediate friends, but I guess what I am trying to say is that I want to build deeper and more meaningful relationships. Does that make sense?
I was never the popular girl in high school (at least not in my own eyes). Yes I had friends and I was friendly with most of my graduating class but I was never the social butterfly I was perceived to be. I would have rather spent the night at home with two or three friends watching movies and talking about life than going out.
Fast forward a few years and though I crave to be different I haven’t changed too much in the aspect of having a small group of people I can depend on. I want that to change. I want to share my love with more people but I feel like I am being shut out or overlooked (that may sound a bit dramatic) but still. I just don’t know what else to do. I cannot go after relationships without feeling like I’m being awkward.
Pick yourself up because you are worth so much more than whatever pain has caused you to feel unwanted. Life isn’t always fair but it does always work out like it should. So keep your head up and remember to smile.